Axe Cop!

So my buddy Ethan posted these comics on TenNapel's forum around Christmas. They were called "Axe Cop," and he'd done them with his five-year-old brother Malachai while home visiting his family. He made them as a lark, but now it's the newest, biggest, and best thing on the internet, so I thought I'd share it with you in case you hadn't stumbled across them yet. The comics feature Ethan's excellent and hilarious drawings, and are written entirely by Malachai's brilliant child's mind. An idea so simple you wish you'd thought of it (and were as funny as the Nicolles).

Giant Size Movie Round-Up: Pt. 1

It's only been a MILLION YEARS since my last review went up, so I'm going to gather a bunch and give (probably short) thoughts on them.

Avatar (2009) - I enjoyed the spectacle and the 3-D, but the story had nothing new whatsoever, and the ham-fisted moralizing made me roll my eyes quite a bit. Even though Stephen Lang (who was Ike Clanton in Tombstone, by the way!), is great in his role as cartoon military man, every line he had was mind-numbingly bad. This guy sums it up all the problems I had, and is funnier to boot. (See also his seven-part series on The Phantom Menace. It's very insightful.) And now a Best Picture nod?? Come on!

The Big Country (1958) - This one was great. It's really really good all the way up to the final scene, where it falls a bit short. A genuinely unique Western. You've got Gregory Peck as a former ships captain who has come out west to marry the daughter of a big-time rancher. He discovers that a war has been brewing between his future father-in-law and another rancher (played by Burl Ives).

So what's unique about it? For one thing, the sea-captain angle. For another, Peck never uses a gun. Ever. (As I watched, I wanted to be Peck. He's just the coolest guy. Always in control, always knows exactly what he wants and what he's capable of, never lets himself be manipulated by anyone else.) Then you've got the rest of the supporting cast. You immediately fall in love with Jean Simmons. Burl Ives utters all the lines you always wondered about in the "Happy Happy Joy Joy" song from Ren & Stimpy. Chuck Connors plays a great sleazy weasel. And Chuck Heston is in there too! He and Peck get into a fight in the middle of the night on a dusty prairie. It lasts forever, and there's no music during the scene. And it ends in a draw. There's also the love story, which doesn't go where you'd expect. And that really goes for the rest of the movie. It's unexpected. It surprised me, and most of the time I honestly did not know where it was going to end up. Compare that to Avatar, where I called out each and every plot point before stepping into the theater. Also deserving a shout-out is Alfonso Bedoya, Peck's best buddy on the ranch. He's a great character, and it's always good to see an actual Mexican rather than Jack Palance performing such a role in an old movie.

The only weak points are the music and the final confrontation. The music is generally very good, but there are a few scenes where it is ill-suited to the mood. The final confrontation between the two barons is a bit of a let-down, mostly because it plays out exactly as you expect it to. Given everything else that has come before, I was left with a "that's it?" feeling. It's logical and serves the story, but I was hoping for one last surprise.

Final note: this needs a Blu-Ray release. I didn't at all mention the fabulous titular setting. The DVD is decent, but you could definitely see where a bit of work and a hi-definition transfer would bring the movie back to glorious new heights in a home theater setting.

Ichi (2008) - A fun take on the Zatoichi world, this time with a captivating young girl as the new blind swordsman. Not a great movie, but certainly decent. I liked the guy who couldn't draw his sword, though I found the explanation for his condition wanting. The action scenes are well-done, though they aren't in traditional Zatoichi fashion. Zatoichi's scenes were always in real-time, but Ichi slows it down. You get to enjoy the choreography a bit more, I suppose, but there's something to be said for the long single-take action shots in the originals.

Moon (2009) - A really good little sci-fi movie. Sam Rockwell gives several great performances. The movie really makes you care about him, too, which doesn't sound significant, but I suppose that because of the ethical subject matter of the movie it hit me a bit deeper. Definitely worth watching.

Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939) - Great movie. Boy, I've been on a Capra kick lately. As you'll see below, I finally saw It's A Wonderful Life for the first time. (I know.) And I love his sentiment and morals. It's done so well.

It's A Wonderful Life (1946) - I can't believe I've been missing this my whole life. It really is one of the best movies I've seen. Such a great story, great characters, great message. This is up there on my list now.

Blog post count

Dang, 2009 was a real drop in numbers compared to the last couple of years.

2007 - 72
2008 - 95
2009 - 44

Sorry about that (unless you're grateful). We'll see how 2010 goes. I do have a huge backlog of movies to comment about.

Anyhow, happy New Year!

New Year's Eve Shooting

I was invited on a shooting trip over Christmas break by a guy from work, but since it turned out to be a three day trip I decided not to go. But I still wanted to go shooting! So I found a place in Ramona (way out, past the Wild Animal Park) called Orosco Ridge that allowed recreational shooting.

After a long drive up a winding dirt road, we came to the spot. There was no official looking designation; it was merely a rounded ridge without vegetation, sloping down into some bushes and a ravine, with another hill leading up the other side. There were several trucks at the beginning of the range, firing off all sorts of pistols, rifles, and shotguns, so we made our way to the far left side that had only one occupant. (We observed that we were the only non-truck on the ridge that day.)

Our neighbor turned out to be shooting two old cap-and-ball revolvers! He had a Starr revolver and a LeMat, both unusual guns. (See below: Starr from Unforgiven, LeMat from The Quick and the Dead.) The LeMat has a nine shot cylinder and shotgun barrel underneath the main barrel! Damon let me fire off a shot from it at the end of the day. Very cool.


We had been told at the ranger station that we were only allowed to shoot paper targets or clay pigeons, but at the ridge we found all sorts of junk. We set up some wood planks and boards that had been left there, and found a bunch of unbroken clay pigeons that we decided to chuck for each other.

The guns: my 1851 Colt Navy (videos coming soon -- they're on my brother's camera), my double-barreled shotgun, and Ian's pump shotgun. Unfortunately, like an idiot, I forgot my bag of lead balls for my Navys, so I only had the seven shots that I had left in the case. We each only got two shots. But, I did get to load up all six cylinders for the first time, which was cool.

After those shots were up, we spent the rest of the time using up all our shotgun ammunition, which was fun enough. And I took video with my Flip! The shooters: friend Ian, brother Ben, and me. You may notice I am sporting my Clint hat and new bandoleer.

Blog banner

As you can see I finally got around to making a banner image for the blog. I'll post it down below as well for posterity (in case I change it later).

Here's a different version I made using images from a page from the ol' Cowboy Monkey comic (I found the decorative accents through a Google image search):


This next image is the one, as of this post's publishing date, currently being used. This was made using drawings I did for our wedding invitations back in 2007:

Them Crooked Vultures

I had never even heard of the group until I read on a gaming site that their single was going to be released for download in Rock Band. I guess that's not too surprising, since I don't really read or follow music news. But I do try and follow news of the few bands I regularly seek out, so you'd think a band made up of Josh Homme (Queens of the Stone Age), Dave Grohl (Foo Fighters), and John Paul Jones (Led Zeppelin) would have appeared on my radar at some point since their first appearance in June 2009.

The line-up alone was enough to sell me, though I did seek out some of their songs on YouTube. I ordered it through Amazon on Tuesday and got it last night.

It's a great album. With vocals and guitar hooks provided by Homme, it's going to remind you a lot of QOTSA (which certainly isn't a bad thing), but it's unique enough to lay claim to a separate identity. I'm not good at the whole "song by song" thing, but for what it's worth, here you go:

The first song, "No One Loves Me and Neither Do I," has a very QOTSA feel to it. But the next one, "Mind Eraser, No Chaser," has a running rhythm that will evoke a Foo Fighters chorus. The single, "New Fang," is just a plain old catchy rock song. "Dead End Friends" begins with an eerie tune that I think best fits the album art. "Elephants" has a great hook and quickly ramps up into a fast-paced rocker, but then slows down into the trudging beat we know from other QOTSA songs. I wish it had maintained the initial energy throughout, though it does kick up at the end again. "Scumbag Blues" reminded me more of an easy going Led Zeppelin song. "Bandoliers" is good, and I can't really think of a good way to describe it. Towards the end an extended guitar and organ duet kicks in. "Reptiles" is Zeppelin right from the get-go. Jones' bass has an instant presence, and Homme's guitars say the same thing. Good one. "Interlude with Ludes" is what you'd expect, and it's not my favorite. Spacey drugged out song. "Warsaw..." is a bluesy, slower, grungy march. "Caligulove" features more organ and has a good skippy beat. "Gunman" has a dance-song feel that reminded me of Muse's "Supermassive Black Hole" at first, but the chorus is eerie QOTSA. "Spinning in Daffodils" reminded me of early QOTSA.

I think if you're a fan of at least 2 out of 3 of the original bands, you'll really dig this.

Paranormal Activity (2009)

A few weeks ago I went to see Paranormal Activity with a good bunch of dudes (Doug, Ethan, Will, and Hugh). We'd all heard a bunch of buzz about this being a genuinely terrifying movie without gore, so we were all excited. We saw it with a good responsive crowd, so it was a fun time.

The promotion for this movie has been designed around the idea that the less you know about the film, the better the experience, so I'm letting you know now that I'll be discussing specific content in the review below. Fair warning, go ye n'further if ye want to see the movie unspoilt.

The movie is structured like The Blair Witch Project and Cloverfield, in that it's documentary-style "found footage." The story concerns Katie and Micah (pronounced "Mee-kuh" because his parents hated him), a couple who live together in San Diego. Katie has been haunted by a spirit or presence for years, and it has returned again. Micah is a skeptic, and decides to set up a camera to try and capture the phenomena of the haunting. As it turns out, it's a demon that's been following her. And the demon wants her (for what, it's never clear). And it doesn't like being taunted, it doesn't like the camera, and it doesn't like Micah. By the end it has fully possessed Katie and killed Micah.

The movie is pretty good. I try not to give bad art a pass because it was made on a low budget, and fortunately these guys did a great job by using their limitations as strengths. The best parts of the film are the titular paranormal events, most often observed in the bedroom set-up. It begins very subtly, with a door moving and some audible foot-steps. By the end Katie is being dragged out of bed in one of the most terrifying scenes in the film. Other notable scenes include the appearance of three-toed demon footprints in baby powder that Micah has spread around, an Ouija board that moves by an unseen hand and then bursts into flame, and a shadow moving across a door. Each time the demon is present, the audio turns low and bassy, and it's a great effect for giving the sense of an evil oppressive presence.

The stuff I didn't like was all the relationship drama. I understand the need for it for the story structure, but it was mostly boring, and, at its worst, unbelievable. It's understandable that Micah would scoff at and taunt the demon in the beginning when he doubts its existence, but it's beyond stupid that he would say, "No one messes with my girl; I'll take care of it" when he believes it exists. And "I'll take care of it" seems to mean doing nothing other than more bro-posturing.

Which leads me to the biggest hole in the film. No one, at any point, decides to consult an exorcist. Or at least some religious figure. If you're convinced and terrified that there is an evil demon tormenting you, I don't care if you're Richard Dawkins, you're going to consult someone or something on the "good" side to try and protect yourself. As an American in 2009, you're aware of the pop-culture surrounding demon mythology. Everyone's heard of The Exorcist. Everyone knows the idea of God vs. the Devil, angels vs. demons, good vs. evil. So the fact that there's not one mention of God, Jesus, angels, whatever, is unbelievable. Not as a Christian, but as a movie-goer. It's odd, too, since the movie does a good job of addressing our other concerns (like why don't they just leave the house).

Last complaint: CG demon face at the end was stupid. When the rest of your movie is made up of practical, believable effects, don't suddenly end it the way a cookie-cutter horror movie would with a distractingly obvious demon face biting the screen black.

The movie is an impressive demonstration of making something genuinely affective without any money. While it didn't shake me to my core, it provided a few good scares and a good sense of atmosphere. Worth a rent.

More bad Western art - Outlaw Territory

I've been meaning to write about this for a while now, but finding these images online (saving me the trouble of scanning them from the book) made it easier.

I bought Outlaw Territory, a Western comics anthology, earlier this year. The cover was pretty cool and I had hopes that there would be at least a few good stories or some sweet art to make the purchase worthwhile (I know anthologies like Flight, Gunned Down, and Marvel Westerns well enough to know that you're guaranteed some stinkers). Unfortunately, there were only 2-3 contributions that I can think of that were any good. Most of them were, at best, boring and uninspired, and at worst, full of terrible art.

The selection below (from First Car in Mexico, by Andy Macdonald and Daniel Heard) is by no means the worst. In fact, it's actually pretty good! Nice lay-out, colors, and drawings. Except for -- say it with me now -- the guns.

****

Those are the weirdest banana guns I've ever seen. And they're so detailed that you'd swear the guy wasn't making them up! He doesn't fudge the design behind weak renderings like Phil Noto. But trust me, he is pulling those out of his butt. There's never been a revolver with a grip like he's got going on there. As you'll recall, I don't mind invented guns if they look somewhat close to reality (i.e. the artist knows what the appropriate guns look like and bases his invention on logical principles). But those handles . . . ! The weird thing is, he apparently knew enough to draw a loading lever underneath the barrel in the top panel, which would be appropriate for a black powder revolver. Maybe he only had half a picture for reference? From mid-cylinder on? Because everything from that point back is wacky. And then in the second-to-last panel he doesn't keep his gun anatomy consistent at all. He's confident in his invention, hoping that they look like real guns to his audience. But I'll bet you he'd laugh out loud and smack his forehead if you showed him a real revolver (from any point in history, really).

Here's a different example (Gut Shot by David Miller and Philip Fuller). The rendering isn't bad in this one. Bland, but fine. But the coloring kills it. It looks like the colorist discovered the bloom effect and decided every single panel should have it. Honestly, look at it! Every panel. Someone hide the lens flare from these kids before things get worse.

****

This next one (Griswold's Song by Ming Doyle) is an odd duck in that the gun was obviously referenced. It has a weird added-on panel where the barrel meets the cylinder (should be one piece), but the rest of the anatomy is fine. But the way everything is rendered is so squirrelly and ugly as to ruin it. Also, check out his hand in the bottom panel. Aside from being ugly, it's position relative to the gun makes it appear as though the grip is, once again, extending straight down underneath the hammer. Bad, dude! How could you do that if you had reference of the real thing for the rest of it?

****

This page isn't the worst of this entry (The Bounty Killers by John Cboins and Shannon Eric Denton) , but it does at least show the illustrator's failed attempt at a Kent Williams-ish style. There are some really wonky faces in some of the other pages. It also tries to convince me that you only need to draw backgrounds in the establishing-shot panel. Sorry, pal, you can get away with that a bit when you're doing dialogue, but when it's an action scene, and you have a lot of negative space in the second panel, it's obvious and amateurish. Filling it with color doesn't fix it.

****

I constructed this post using only the examples from the blog. Eventually I'll scan some of the really bad stuff to show you. The worst one of all will astonish you with its badness. Like, bad for the internet, let alone a published book.

Recent movies - Bad Company, The Outlaw Josey Wales, Gunga Din

Bad Company (1972) - Odd little "Western" featuring a very young Jeff Bridges as Jake Rumsey. Rented based on Nate Bell's recommendation via Netflix. It's about a straight-laced and up-tight kid named Drew who is dodging the Civil War draft and ends up in the company of Jake and several other dodger kids. The gang wants to make its way west, and intends to fund the expedition by robbing anyone it can.

While peppered with humor, Bad Company is also memorable for its dark and violent moments. When they try to steal chickens from a farmhouse at one point, the youngest kid in their gang is shot and killed. The camera pauses for a solemn moment on his tiny lifeless body before returning to the escape. It is a hard scene to watch. There is an equally violent but less emotionally damaging scene later when Jake and Drew take on a inexperienced but cruel gang of older gunslingers -- and win! I found myself cheering for the kids because it's such an unexpected turn but it's actually believable. It's a great action scene; written, staged, and executed nicely. Below is a shot from the end of the fight. The guy is plugging up his neck wound with his finger! Gross, dude. It's not played for sympathy; he's soon dispatched and we're still riding the high of triumph that the kids have had over these guys.

David Huddleston stands out as a gunslinger named Big Joe who turns up in several scenes mentoring the aforementioned older gang. One of the funnier moments is the first meeting between the two gangs as he supervises the older robbing the younger with helpful coaching. The scene ends on a memorable moment as Jake attempts to draw on him and we see how fast Big Joe is. Later, when Joe is caught by a US Marshal, there's a great scene where Joe is allowed to demonstrate his gun handling prowess to the younger deputies. It's a somber scene, as the Marshal and Joe know that the long relationship between them will finally end in the morning with a hanging. (Ironically, Jake gets in trouble because he wants to be more like Big Joe -- 25 years later we saw Bridges trying the opposite in The Big Lebowski.)

Bad Company is a movie with an odd feel. The relationship between Drew and Jake is the thing that drives the movie. It works pretty well, but I found myself interested more often in the ancillary stuff (as you can see in my "review," where the relationship is hardly mentioned). Jake is a fascinating character to watch, but Drew annoyed me, so it was tough to root for him.

One last thing: I love Bridges' look on the DVD cover. I want to steal the costuming and color for one of my characters. It's very simple, but it's such a cool look. It misleads you about the actual movie, but on its own it's awesome.
The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976) - Hadn't seen this one since becoming a gun nob, so decided to check it out again. I remember not really caring one way or another about it when I first saw it, but upon revisiting it, it's moved up in my list. A big reason for that is Chief Dan George's portrayal of Lone Watie. He's such a great character. Watching the making-of doc, Eastwood notes how he wanted to feature Native American characters who weren't simply stoic sages or angry savages. Lone Watie is such a funny guy, and the relationship he has with Josey makes the movie for me. There is also plenty of help from a fine supporting cast.

Gun-wise, how could I not love a scarred hero who carries dual Colt Walkers? Everyone's seen the iconic image of Clint wielding those two massive pistols. (In fact, there are several different such images, each of them famous.) This capture demonstrates the scale:

Later in the movie, he carries four pistols on him at a time. Love that. The scene towards the end where he advances on the villian dry-firing all his pistols is brilliant stuff.


One of my favorite scenes in the movie (featuring the beautiful Geraldine Keams):

"Only an Indian can do that."

Another favorite moment that uses the whole movie to build to the punchline: Josey spits tobacco everywhere throughout the movie. Probably spits 15 times or more. Usually to show his contempt for something or someone. He spits on this poor dog three or four times. Towards the end, when he's in the old woman's house, he goes to spit, but catches the old woman's eye, so he swallows it.

Gunga Din (1939) - Fun adventure movie. A young Cary Grant is a bit over the top with his goofy shtick and not-quite-believable accent. When it starts it takes you in several. It goes from Indian assassins killing Brits to a slap-stick bar-room brawl to talk of a treasure to a man's special relationship with an elephant. Finally it decides to be about war buddies who don't want their friend to get married, so they hook him into a rescue attempt where they will fight a horde of Thuggee death cult members (yes, the same Thuggees found in Temple of Doom). Oh, and Gunga Din? He's the water bearer who tags along with dreams of being a British soldier. Yep.

The fights in this movie are something special. Unlike other fake looking fights from this era, these are convincing and impressively choreographed.