Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Juggalos are dumb

News story

How does a sub-culture emerge based on one super-gay "band"? Ok, goths are dumb, and we don't get why people become goths either, but at least they come from an entire genre of music. Same for emo-kids and hipsters and what-not. It's not an uncommon thing. However, "Juggalos" and "Juggalettes" are people who identify themselves as fans of the band Insane Clown Posse. And that's it. One band. One band no one, outside of these Juggalopes (as the species is called), likes. You're either a Juggalope or you have never heard of the band or you have and think they're retarded. How did this culture come about? What itch does ICP scratch? Surely the music is not the only draw. It cannot be.

A perusal of the Wikipedia entry for "Juggalo" also notes that members of this group are devoted to the soft-drink "Faygo." I ain't got the words.

After reading more about this culture it makes sense that the fans are so devoted. You'd have to embrace it entirely in order to be able to say with a straight face, "Yes, I am a fan of a group called Insane Clown Posse lead by a man with face-paint named Shaggy 2 Dope." There's no half-hearting a love like that. You have to go all in. With enthusiasm.

And now, pictures! For who can argue with ridiculous pictures?

Or, holy carp, just read these entries!

Coupla winners:
juggaloshadow420 - "my ax is my buddy. ilove faygo. im gothik and listen to shit that u never heard of. all kinds of musik are cool wit me. i write. and we all need to get togeather and take all the haters outta here."
I would love to join you in getting rid of all the haters once and for all. Fred Durst never finished the job.

misshardhat - "Even Moms can get down with the wicked clowns! Yeah I'm a mom of a Juggalo and can hit this shit pretty f* hard myself. Been there since the Ringmaster & haven't left. Hope to see ya round"
Hey, a cool mom! My mom never supported my hobbies.

Jim Grimm - "what up pittsburgh juggalos and juggalettes!! i'm 20 years old and i live im mckees rocks, about 5 mins from downtown pittsburgh. I have 5 piercings(2 in tounge, 1 in lip, both nipples) and 2 tat's(hatchet man on chest and SV on right forearm.)"
Well dang, I had absolutely no interest until I learned of his ICP dedication through piercings and "tat's."

Lauren - "Wud up, Imma juggalette from Pittsburgh. I been down for 9 years, n LIVE, BREATHE, N DIE fo da hatchet. I'm 5'7'', n all that fun shit. I'm pretty chill, love goin to concerts, and hangin wit da juggalo fam. So hit me up! MMFWCL! Keep it wikid!"
What's fun about being 5'7"? I hated being 5'7".

nastynate42o - "im nasty nate im from harmarvill if you know anyoen from harmar that goes by nasty nate it is me"
I did meet a guy in Harmarvill named Nasty Nate, and I have been wondering if it was this Nasty Nate from Harmar, and apparently it was. It's nice to have that mystery solved.

Billy - "I want local Insane Clown Posse Meetups because i want to tell them what i think of them i fuckin hate you icp u bitches eminem is way better"
Clearly Billy is one of the aforementioned "haters." We need to get rid of him. Eminem totally dissed Fred Durst in that one song, and if I understand my Juggalo mythology correctly, Fred Durst is the Godfather of the Juggalo Movement. At least, that's what you should tell anyone with an ICP shirt.