Stop modulating your voice

You guys know what I'm talking about? Those pop-y techno-y dance-club songs with male vocalists that use a computer to raise and lower the pitch of the vocals? I remember when I first heard a song that used this a few years ago. I thought, "Huh, that's unique." The next time I heard it I thought, "Hey, they're copying whoever that other guy is." The time after that I thought, "Oh good, this is a trend, isn't it?"

There's a new CD we're playing in the bookstore by a group of super hipsters called Family Force 5. The picture of the five of them on the inside features them all wearing their most ironic-est clothes and best worst haircuts. Their songs are a Very Ironic throw-back to 80s pop with modern computer modulation and mixing. Some of them are also boring yelly modern "rock." So they combine my two favorite musical trends. EXCELLENT. I hope the CD comes packaged with a gun so you can shoot yourself in the liver 30 seconds into the first track. That would be considerate.

(While we're at it, "Stop getting the same horrible-on-purpose haircut as everyone else in your band.")

I really thought something as gimmicky as this modulation thing would die off faster. It's been several years now and it's still around, which means teenage girls are still buying these CDs. Stop it!

**update** I've identified two of the worst songs on the CD, having listened to it about a million dozen times now at work: track 2, "Get Your Back off the Wall" has the lame screamy stuff, and track 8, "Share It with Me" has the stupid modulation stuff during the chorus. I read the lyrics, too; track 2 is about getting angry or pumped up or dangerous or something, and track 8 is the whiniest cry-baby "she left me because I stole her jeans and make-up" song ever. EVER.